Most leaders don’t think of themselves as “rescuers.” We think of ourselves as helpful. Responsive. Supportive. We pride ourselves on jumping in, solving problems, and removing roadblocks so our teams can get back to work.

But here’s the hard truth: If you’re always fixing things for your team, you’re holding them back.

The Rescuer Trap

Let’s say an employee brings you the same complaint again. 

• About a teammate who’s not pulling their weight.
• About a system that’s inefficient.
• About feeling stretched too thin.

You’ve heard it before. And so, being the good leader you are, you jump into action:

• You send the reminder.
• You take the task off their plate.
• You rewrite the procedure.
• You smooth it all over.

And for a moment, everything is fine. Until the same issue comes back next month… or next week… or tomorrow. And you’re back in the same loop because no one learned anything.

The Victim Triangle

This dynamic is so common, psychologists have a name for it: The Victim Triangle.

• The Victim feels stuck and helpless.
• The Persecutor is the source of the problem.
• The Rescuer swoops in to save the day.

Here’s what’s often overlooked: In workplace culture, leaders become rescuers far more than they realize. We think we’re being helpful. But we’re unintentionally:

• Encouraging dependency
• Undermining problem-solving
• Reinforcing the idea that the employee can’t own the solution

“I’ll Support You. I Won’t Rescue You.”

The best leaders don’t rescue. They coach. They ask questions like:

• “What have you already tried?”
• “What’s one thing you could do differently?”
• “What would progress look like to you?”
• “What’s the real impact of staying stuck here?”

And yes, sometimes it feels uncomfortable. Slower. Messier. But it’s also how people grow. Because every time you solve something for your team, you send the message, “You can’t handle this.”

And every time you coach someone through a hard moment, you show them, “You’re capable and I believe in you.” The least kind thing you could do for someone is to lower your expectations of them. 

Leadership isn’t about making everyone comfortable. It’s about making everyone stronger. So stop rescuing and start coaching. Your team will thank you, even if it takes a minute.